An Invitation, in Light of Recent Supreme Court Decisions
Hi, my name is Andrew, and I'd like to talk to you a minute about the First Church of FSM, Piratist. We Pastafarians have long believed that global warming has been caused by a lack of pirates, and, along with our sister organization The Swedish Piracy Church, have done our best to prevent it despite government persecution.
This recent Supreme Court case, however, gives us hope. In order to more closely comply with the decision, we have now changed our official doctrine--yes, His Noodly Appendage hath reach down and touched us, and we have a new revelation. Copyright law is an abortifacient, and it is not the government's place to say "that [our] religious beliefs are mistaken or insubstantial." Be it known, be it proclaimed, blessed be the Grater of the Mooncheese.
I invite all citizens of goodwill to join us in body and spirit, wallet and swarm. Save the planet. Stop abortions. Keep up with Game of Thrones. Join the First Church of FSM, Piratist, today.